This episode examines the psychological shift required to let friendships naturally fade during rapid business growth phases, embracing Alex Hormozi’s principle that “the fastest way to get more friends is to lower your standards” while navigating the loneliness that comes from outgrowing existing social circles.
Key Takeaways:
- Success Is 80% Psychology, 20% Mechanics Tony Robbins’ framework (taught through Trevor McGregor) proves that mastering internal psychology opens the floodgates for proper mechanics to take root, enabling faster recovery from setbacks and better strategic decisions.
- Friendship Maintenance Creates False Security Spending energy maintaining relationships from past life phases (driven by childhood insecurity about fitting in) drains focus from growth trajectories, while accepting that connections naturally fade removes unnecessary stress without wishing anyone ill.
- Busy Friends Are Better Friends High-performers require fewer touchpoints because everyone understands that forward momentum takes precedence, eliminating the expectation of constant communication while maintaining meaningful connections when they do occur.
- Growth Phases Require Temporary Loneliness Leveling up means leaving behind groups that no longer align while finding new peer sets on similar trajectories, and this transition period feels isolating until new relationships form around shared ambitions.
Listen to the full episode for the personal vulnerability around letting go of longtime friendships and the frameworks for navigating social transitions during rapid business scaling.
(Podcast transcript below)
Hi, Chris Duff over at Serious Land Capital vacant land funding partner. it’s like we started last weekend here on Sundays. know, still, still getting things, done as needed, but, know, it’s a little bit more of a, in a strategic thinking day, trying to orient towards the coming weekend. So I want to focus more on.
Mindset like I mentioned last time and you know, is a Tony Robbins thing, you know again Got to spend time in person for a few days with Trevor McGregor Tony’s former number one coach within his programming and you know, Tony would always remark that Success is 80 % psychology 20 % mechanics And I’m thinking
been thinking about that daily and I continue to believe in it more and more. Just that, because I think with the right mindset, the mechanics fall into place much faster to where, you know, like on a minute by minute basis, you’ll probably be spending more time on mechanics. But if you don’t master that mindset portion, you’re going to be
Continuing to sabotage yourself or get distracted by unnecessary items so you could do a whole podcast on on that but You know to me I think it’s a key distinction people might look at that and say yeah you can just look at your psychology and mindset and You know the secret type mentality. I don’t actually believe in that What I do believe is that
Yeah, you really, really need to nail that inner psychology and then opening up the floodgates for the proper mechanics to take form and take root within your within your routines and being able to bounce back from setbacks quicker. So that is my interpretation, but something that I continue to focus on day in, day out. And there was another
Actually handful of quotes. you know, I think most entrepreneurs nowadays are familiar with, with Alex or Mosi and his wife, Layla. Um, and I definitely don’t agree with everything. Um, you know, they don’t have kids and so forth. It’s hard to fully compare back to that state of, of life, but, I think they’re both super thoughtful and, uh, you know, share a lot of value add. I’ve learned a lot from them. Um,
I think a lot of entrepreneurs have there’s there’s no doubt about that and so I see some of the quotes that come out more routinely and My wife and I were just discussing one earlier today where You know Alex was mentioning. Hey the fastest way to Get more friends is to lower your standards Yeah, so I’m more grateful for the few friends that I have
and this is something that resonates in particular for my wife and I because we for most of our lives have tended to be the person that You know, you can just look within your own friend group, right? are you mainly reaching out to people or people reaching out to you or or is it a mixed bag most the time? from what I’ve been able to see like one person is primarily driving the
Outreach in you know, whatever capacity You know, particularly when you’re not in person, you know in person it can be more balanced like people can be more present and so forth but in terms of staying in touch usually somebody’s driving that and My wife and I have tended to be that person that’s like, you know routinely following up and checking in and so forth and you know, sometimes getting stressed when it’s not as reciprocated especially for much older friends, you know folks we grew up with and
you know, wanting to stay in touch with and so forth. Obviously we all get older, start having families, kids, busy jobs, et cetera. So a lot of that tends to fall by the wayside and start feeling, you know, am I really wanting to let some of these friendships kind of truly fall off? And you know, that’s definitely something that I’ve struggled with over
over many years here and I think that even can call back. You know, there were several periods when I was growing up that, you know, my friendship group was very small to minimal. Sometimes like really didn’t fit in at all. And so I think as I grew older, you know, probably from that older insecurity of when I was growing up of like, okay, you know, the friends that I have.
built or the friendships that I’ve built up. Like I really want to make sure they stay secure to avoid feeling some of that loneliness that had felt in the past. At least, you know, I’m doing some armchair psychology here, but more recently, especially over the last six months, you know, as I really started feeling the business take a turn and, and, you know, in more of a hockey stick growth fashion.
and understanding, okay, this is what it really takes to get to the next level. I’m just finally feeling more, feeling more free to let go or not necessarily like totally discount people from life, but not as stressed about follow up and outreach. Like, great, you know, if we can ever be back in touch in person again, excellent, or, you know, certain people who wanted.
join on kind of a really, really high level growth trajectory. Excellent. But you know, if, that’s not the case, that’s that, that’s all right. Um, you know, I’m always going to wish people well, counter, counterproductive to, to ever wish otherwise, um, uh, throughout, throughout humanity. So, uh, that’s going to be my mindset, but I’m not going to be as stressed about, okay, you know, I need to like continue to maintain and collect.
friendships just because of what we might have had in the past versus just the rapid changes that are going on in my own life and the life I want to live and trying to balance all that out. and you know, as I know, Hormozzi has pointed out too, like, you know, when you’re going through certain growth phases, like there’s you’re going to enter into
period of loneliness where it’s like, the people you were spending more time with aren’t necessarily the best fit anymore. And in order to level up, you’re going to, to join kind of a, a new group of people who are more aligned with you. And, know, if they ultimately falter too, and you keep growing, you find another one and that’s just how life goes. and so I’ve really embraced that over the last couple of quarters. And especially within the business realm have met, you know, not just like
quote unquote deal friends, but real friends who are on a similar trajectory as well. My own core partners within the business continue to push each other accordingly and okay being like a bit more lonely in terms of not on as many text threads or trying to plan trips and so forth to go hang out and so forth.
I don’t really actually feel that lonely either because most of my social time outside of what I have to do for work is pretty busy with my own wife and two-year-old daughter and my parents are living in the same city as us too, but even them might only see like once-ish a month approximately. and my schedule still feels really full.
from that and fulfilling. So I’m not like really feeling that bad about that either because like I’m embracing the growth and understanding what it takes to get to that next level and finding new people who are more oriented towards that mindset and we connect better on any more kind of routine catch up.
basis, but even that’s less frequent because it was another hermosy thing is like better friends are busy friends and you know, I’m embracing that for my own self as well as the people that I’m more in touch with and you just need kind of less less touch points because you’re understanding that everybody is kind of moving things forward. And and and trying to trying to build something really significant. So yeah, been been mulling that over and putting it into practice a lot more.
Um, and it’s definitely been working. I don’t think it’s a surprise, uh, the way that our business is growing, um, taking more of this approach. And I think my wife has also been embracing that a lot more as well. Um, you know, she’s definitely not as kind of wildly ambitious as I am from a, uh, business perspective. Um, or would I have ever expected her to, to be, but you know, she is still very growth minded. Um,
Uh, you know, that’s the way that the reason that we work, I think if you’re in a relationship with, where you’re not kind of both, uh, uh, growing, um, uh, together, like inevitably, um, you know, things, things won’t work out. So that that’s what we always come back to within our own relationship. And I know she’s going through some of those, uh, branch periods with her own friends as well too. So, um, we’re, kind of on this journey together in an area that we both, uh,
Tended to have a lot of personal stress Internally whereas you know like the counterparties are the other friends You know might not have been feeling that nearly as much as us or maybe they were just you flat-out busier and so forth to Which we certainly understand especially parents. I have like infinite empathy for and understanding of just how crazy things are You know being being one myself nowadays, so
Just wanted to share that as far as mindset that have been more recently embracing and putting into practice. Hopefully this is helpful for you. If you’ve gone through something similar on your own end, would love to hear that in the comments or just message me separately. And obviously feeling free to share some of that vulnerability on my own end as well too. I think that’s the best way to actually.
get people intrigued and understand that I’m not just spouting off things that have no personal relevance. So hopefully that is appreciated and helpful to you. With all of that in mind, looking forward to this coming week, Serious Land Capital for any of funding needs, Land Daily Diligence Facebook Group for zero cost review of your land deals, and LandPricer.
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